Starting College

Okay, college resolution : right my blog everyday.. or at least, every other day..

So, so much has been going on since I last post something, these are the highlights, well, no, just some points I want to mention :

1. I chose U of M - twin cities.. It's been going great for now! I really thought I would constantly feel homesick, or intimidated, or have a hardtime finding friends, but, so far it's going well!

2. So, yeah, with that, I left my family. My sister, my brother, my Dad! My Mom stayed with me here for 3 weeks. Oh, by the way, if I haven't mentioned, I'm from Indonesia. Now, I'm studying at America. So, see the connection now? :D

3. I've chosen to not break my soul. Don't ask me what it means. Okay, it means going to clubs. I don't know how I came up with this phrase 'breaking your soul'. It's a bit embarassing. Plus, my roommate and neighbour keep bringing this up! Oh well...

And I WILL go to clubs! Eventually.....

4. My classes, they are pretty good, though I expected more. I guess now I know I prefer small classes. I just feel I'd get more! Well, I still got 7 semesters ahead. Now, it's pretty hard to keep myself from dozing off. But I'm trying!

5. It's really hard to get enough sleep here! Not because of studying (I wish it was!). More because distraction. And because I like our night talk, or more like midnight talk while having our second dinner, tiff! (she's one of my roommate)

6. hmm.. i hear... free food! hahaha.. yeah.. I love eating (hint! hint!) So hello free food! This is awesome! It's like, free food thrown to our face! Plus, I have this friend who has a sixth sense for free food. This is a really, really nice change. 'Cause all the restaurants in Indonesia wouldnt be that awesome. Sad.

7. Grass.. grass.. grass! Okay, I haven't been enjoying it much (sitting on it) But just seeing it is such a nice change from looking at skyscrapers and apartments and malls and all those disgusting building in Jakarta (In Indonesia, I live in jakarta, the capital city)

8. Walking... haaa... Okay, I'm not gooing to lie. Ever since I got my U Pass (for busses), I've been taking the bus everytime, almost everytime I'm going somewhere. But, I really like walking in the night (no, I'm not doing anything shady). I just feel it's refreshing. But, yeah.. The fact that they have sidewalks big enough for us to walk through it (yeah, I'm talking to you jakarta) is so relieving. And, again, such a nice change.

9. I have my own apartment! Well, technically I share this with 3 other people. But it just feels awesome! I have my own room (which is still a bit plain, help!), and... gosh! This is so cool. I'm sorry parents, but moving out doesn't look that bad now.

So, yeah.. but a lot of other awesome things happened and are about to come. So, I'm gonna keep you updated (though the only one who read this is Putri.. :( thank you!). Hopefully if I write more, somehow I'll attract more people.

See ya Friday!

Hopes For A Hopeless Friendship

It's become known to me that my circle friend from junior high failed to survive. Usually, I'm okay with this friends-coming-and-going thing that has happened since I was in elementary school.

In elementary school, each level only has two classes. So, in 1st grade my friend was A, then in 2nd grade our teacher would divide us and I met a new friend B, with my old friendship sinking. Then in 3rd grade I would be separated from B and I'd be back with A. That kept happening through 6 years while I also gained more friends.

In junior high (7th until 9th grade), that sort of pattern wasn't in use. I made friends with K, J, L, R, P, and M. We were parted into two in the second semester. I was with J and R. In our 4th semester in junior high, J, R, P, M, A, and I formed a circle of friends again. This was my circle of friends until we graduated from junior high.

With them I felt something totally different. We knew each other well (especially me with R and J), we felt comfortable with each other, we don't feel the need to put on another face to adjust with, we are not embarrased to come up with our thoughts because we believed each of us knew us pretty well to expect a kind of thought from us.

However, in high school (R, J, M, P, and I were in one highschool), all of us started to separate, starting from J, who, now that I looked back, surprised me most. We started to become comfortable with our own classes, didn't (stupidly I didn't come up with this idea) find a time to catch up between our two (thirty-minutes each) recess, and started to forget about each other.

Then, for me, the pattern from elementary came back. I was still close friends with M, and was pretty good friends with P. But I totally lost contact with J and R.

One thing that made me sad about this was, I never found this strong feeling of comfort in any other circle of friends anymore. Yes, there are some fun people I met with. But there is no more that perfect friend who

her imperfection you can forget about

you can fall into silence with her and don't find it awkward

you can talk to about your opinions without feeling insecure or stupid

you can relate to

you have a huge common ground with

So, I guess, what I learn from this, is if you find a special friend, or a circle of friends that is special and different, don't let go of it. It's hard to find and it can change your world.

I went through a lot of bullying through my junior high years. Yet, I looked back and didn't find those years immensely annoying or traumatic, because I had those friends.

This September I'm gonna start yet another new part of my life. College years. I hope to find many, many friends. But, still, I hope I'll find a bestfriend.

Institution's Lack of Support

Hi, hi... So, my one follower, today I'm gonna give you something new. Haha..

Anyway, just a few more months and I will be starting a whole new life in campus. Well, kinda.
So, although people kept saying, " Tio, enak banget si lu ke Amerika!" (which means, not literally, : How lucky you are to get to go America! ). Well, it's not that I don't appreciate this chance I've got, it's just that, I worked as hard as them to get into it. Just in a shorter length and more 'intense at the moment'-ish. (to get into my country's national universities, usually they take a certain lesson outside schools for a year, than take a test).

This is a piece of story related to that.

So, originally my plan was to get into a music school. But because of lack of preparation and lack of dicipline, it was too late for me to enter music application to some schools and I eventually sent applications for 7 general universities and 2 music schools.

To make things short, I was rejected by this one school.
The other school, well, I had an audition scheduled for late march(two days, thursday to friday), at Malaysia (I'm in Indonesia), but I finally didn't go to it because I was prohibited by my school.

My audition was scheduled at the same time my National Exams were scheduled. I was pretty confident in taking this audition because my National Exams (UN) schedule hadn't had exact dates until the last minute.
When I found out that both were scheduled at the same time, I was surprised. But the thing is, there is another week prepared for those who can't take exams at the National Exams week. So, I thought, ok. I'm gonna take that other week. I talked to my class guardian and my Mom talked to the school. At first they were like, okay, if this audition must be taken.

A few days latter, my guidance counselor (GS) went to me and told me I should reconsider. Her first genius opening lines were," I think you should reconsider going to the audition. What if the school doesn't want to give an explanatory letter to the UN committee?"
Boy, that got me swearing (not loudly, obviously). Then, she explained to me with her i-only-want-the-best-for-you tone, that the vice princpl. met the committee, who said the only reason for taking UN the other week is if a student is sick. My Mom went to the school again to talk to my principal. But through the conversation my principal just put on a tired look. At some time she asked my name, checked our try out scores, and let out a small laugh because my history score was still bad. Blegh. Then she explained about cases where some students were sick during UN and had to take UN in the other week. So my Mom was like," So, you're saying I should just say that my daughter is sick?"
"Oh, no it's not like that!" said my principal..

In some times after this I did more research and found out that a lot of this music school's pupils didn't graduate because they got a gig before graduating, some say this school is a place to find connections. I was looking for a campus with a university atmosphere. So I decided I wanted to go to a general university. But I still wanted to go to the audition, to check my talent and finish what I started.
Another few days (I know this is taking long, just hang on for a sec.), I was called outside my class when I was studying by my GS.
She asked about my desicion, do I choose to take the UN or not. And I was like, "what?"
"Yes, if you decided to go to the audition, than you can't graduate. If you decided otherwise, you can. But you can't take the UN from Monday than be absent at Thursday. You'll be considered not taking the UN."
Shoot. So I eventually gave up the audition.

I'm not mad about the fact that they wish I won't take the audition. It seems pretty reasonable. And I believe they'd never had my case. UN is a big thing.

Things that make me mad are:
1. They never show any support whatsoever in my interest to enter this music school or any concern regarding my not being able to go to the audition.

2. Giving me an ultimatum like I was some kind of, I don't know. But, obviously, not a student that they want to make sure will be able to follow her dream. Anyway, what kind of school gives it's students ultimatum?

3. If they really cared, they would have said maybe I can say that I'm sick. Instead, the principal was giving vague answers and my GS was giving me more pain than psychology healing.

4. There's a rumor, I think, that in the other week for sick people, usually the qeustions prepared are more difficult, and my school was all about being the best and keeping it's name clean and good.

There you have it. My beloved school. Lucky I'll be signing out of it and be signing in to a better place. Hmmm...

What happened to SIMPLICITY?

I entered a room. An aula actually. People dressed up to the ten. Bodies bumping each others. No air to breath. Each movement must be done carefully. I was aghast. What happened to simplicity?

Yesterday, i attended a wedding. My father's friend wedding. It was unbelievebly crowded. The moment i entered the room, i knew right then that it would be a bad wedding due to the lack of room given. We(my family and i) had to contact each other through handphones. Yes. It was impossible to reach each other manually. My father said the room was possibly filled by 3000 people.

I don't understand. What's the use of having so much people at your party, and in this case, a very special one, when you can't make them enjoy themself, you can't chit-chat with them, and you can't move through the crowd because your hair and dress is in full danger? The true meaning of wedding, and the true meaning of inviting poeple to wedding was so we can share probably the greatest moment of our lives. Not so we can show-off and say,"Now you understand that I'm THIS rich, hah?"

I don't even understand why the bride let her father invited his friends that much. I mean, your one of most beautiful moment and suddenly you saw someone and you were like who the hell is he? then you ask your man,"Is that your family or relative?" "No, I don't think so.." Then your mom," Mom, is that our family?" "Oh, no. That is the man you father once had a project with." Ha.. It's just crazy, unbeliaveable. So, tell me, what's your idea of a nice wedding? Money? Or Known-relatives?

Screwed Smoker

Just yesterday, my friends and i were joking around in computer class. The two teachers in charge were kinda new and still hesitant (maybe) to discipline us. So, hey, we are youth! And it's our job to enjoy that fact. So, we did enjoy the 'class of freedom'. It was a half an hour class, we had done our job, and so we joked and laughed around. Now, as this all were happening, a computer teacher(he wasn't new but screwed up) that was just hanging out there typing something really did get mad and lost his temper. He yelled to us and told us to shut up (in indonesia), and spent the last 10 minutes giving us lectures about how we should have appreciated the teachers in charge (new teachers), and how that we should have not used their naivete.

Oh please.... He himself was not a good teacher either. He had a strong smell from smoking! And, oh my god, you can hardly even breath! This is not hyperbole. This is true.
When he taught us (he taught me in 10th grade), we might be silent, but the silent was colored by boredom. He looked sleepy (and has always looked sleepy) and he seemed as not interested in the subject as we weren't.

He said we acted very weird and showed lack of discipline. Well, ha, wait a second. Maybe we acted weird because his smell unabled our mind to think normally..

My rancor for him just becomes bigger and bigger and i hope he'll stop smoking.
Well, maybe i'll get caught by school for writing this, maybe not. At least i speak (wrote) my heart up..

Dance 'till You Faint (??)

Two days ago, my sister, my brother, and i ate supper, like other people often do. (Duh..)
while eating, we listened to songs from i-Pod, which was connected to a deck / speaker?
well, anyway, after eating i started to dance ballet-like, and my brother acted as a singer, and the atmosphere turned crazy, and it was totally a blast!
it was crazy, sweating, releasing....hauhhh..

So, this got me thingking..Three seventeen b'days i went to and i heard about, none of them included dancing.. when, however, dancing is one of those universal languages. Because when you get lost in it, it's all about spirit and freedom and letting your hair waving... Ah...releasing anything depressing..

Besides, ALL artists are recording dance songs, yet, it's not very popular among my friends, the dancing...

Anyway, why not start now? Try it! Get your siblings or friends, turn on the music, and wave your hands... like there's no tomorrow...

Twilight is beaten down by The Host!

Hey, twilight fans around the maya world, i just found out two days ago, after finishing the host,, well, that it's better than twilight.. it's more emotional, and the emotions in the book are more variable.
Anyway, down to business.. So i say the host is better than twilight because :

1. you see, in twilight, all we find is the lovey-dovey thing going on between bella n edward. but, in the host, you'll discover lots kind of love! loves for family, people around you, your guy, your own kind or tribe.
and there are also a lot of other emotions and human qualities that we sometimes forget are as important as love, as part of the novel, like loyalty, sincerity, self-sacrifice.

2. i laughed and almost cry a few times reading this..anybody that loved or loves twilight, should give this book a try..

3. although this IS a long novel, you will never be bored reading this.. because instead of loooong explanations,
you will find so much events and thrilling actions in this book. and count on stephenie on making unbelieveably romantic stories. because, there IS a love action going on in here...

4. In it, Stephenie made a very, very uncommon twist about who actually fell in love with the wanderer. i couldn't believe it when i first read it. but it was actually a nice twist!

oh, i can go on and on and on and on... but you won't feel it until you experience it..
buy it, open it, and read it.